a perfect girl
by ihoshiko
Summary: he was cursed to never be with her ever again, no matter how much his heart yearned for her [ lenku oneshot / angst, tragedy ]


**a/n:**

 **disclaimer** : I don't own vocaloid or the poem used in this, I read a poem and used it here, I can't remember what the title of the poem was called, or the artist's name, but if I find it I'll credit them later on.

 **warnings** : character death, violence, and swearing ahead.

if you liked this, please comment or vote.

thanks!

\- x -

"Yesterday, on the street I passed the 100% perfect girl." I had said to my navy blue headed friend. He scoffed and cocked a brow.

"Really?" he questioned, I could feel him smiling, "Was she pretty?"

"No." I replied, "Not really."

"Oh," he was taken back by my quick response, "Then was she your type?"

"Don't know." I took a swig of my drink, then slammed it down in a less hostile way than usual.

"You don't know?" by now, my friend was probably very confused. As was I, I did not understand this situation quite clearly myself.

"I can't remember a single thing about her, her eye shape, how tall she was-I can't even remember the color of the shirt she was wearing." I said, my cheek now resting in my right palm, "Absolutely nothing."

"Strange." my friend shrugged, and I nodded briefly.

"Strange." I agreed.

We come to this bar way too much, but I didn't really mind it. It was a long time since I had a chat with my best bud, and it was really relaxing in a way, because I could tell him anything I wanted and he wouldn't judge.

"Did you talk to her?" I shook my head, and my friend looked at me like I was crazy.

"Don't be stupid." I had said to him, and he sighed with disappointment.

"Why not? How could you know if she was the 100% perfect girl if you never even talked to her?"

I didn't answer right away, the reason being I don't even know how or why I knew she was the 100% perfect girl for me. Besides, if I had talked to her, what would I have said? Maybe that the morning I had passed her in the streets, my soul knew right away that she was the person my heart was searching for. However, for the brief moment we passed, no words were exchanged, no eye contact, absolutely nothing.

 _How could I have approached her? What would I have said to her if I did?_

I know now, probably something corny. Like a long story though, too long and bittersweet for me to have delivered it properly. Something my grandpa once told me, something he said I would have to share with someone important to me.

 _Fucking practical, right? Oh well._

Let's see, it would have started with a, "Once upon a time" and ended with, "A sad story, don't you think?"

.

.

.

 _Once upon a time.._

 _There was a boy . ._

 _and a girl . ._

 _They lived in a world of death,_

 _A sad, lonely world that could only bring pain and misery._

 _The world they lived in made the two of_

 _them build large walls around their hearts._

 _Needless to say,_

 _neither of them held any hope of true_

 _love or soulmates._

 _They didn't believe anymore,_

 _that somewhere in the world,_

 _there lived a 100% boy,_

 _and a 100% girl for them._

 _But then,_

 _that miracle actually happened._

.

.

.

There was a long silence between us, the awkward tension in the room was growing.

"So, you're my new partner, huh?" she started, staring at me with such large eyes. Large green eyes to be exact.

I simply nodded, not knowing what else to do. This whole partnership thing was instructed by our leader, we were forced to work together. Silence-once again-took hold of the situation, so I took this opportunity to sharpen my blade in peace.

However, this girl was pesky and did not give up on trying to start a conversation with me.

"I have heard the rumors they say about you, that you are a killing machine, bloodthirsty, and invincible in battle. However, only fools will believe rumors before they discover the truth for themselves. I am not a fool; I will and expect you to get along well with me," she sighed, stretching her arms out in her lap, "Might as well, right? I can't imagine that someone with such horrid rumors would have many friends."

Before I knew it, she extended her palm to me, "Nice to meet you, I'm Miku Hatsune."

Hesitantly, I took it and simply stared at her before speaking quietly, "Len Kagamine."

Thus began my most beautiful, yet worst nightmare.

.

.

.

 _They had found, and been found by_

 _their 100% other._

 _What a wonderful thing it was,_

 _what a wonderful feeling to have._

 _Within their built walls,_

 _they found in each other,_

 _moments of peace._

 _The walls slowly started to crumble,_

 _and soon they had vanquished from existence._

.

.

.

"What are you doing out here, alone?" it was her, I knew it without even looking or opening an eye. Sighing, I sat up from the grass bed I slept in. Staring off into the distance, where a distant camp fire was going, and many soldiers and knights were laughing and chatting with one another. I sighed, those people didn't like me.. they thought I was strange and just a kid. I don't blame them, who would feel weird about having a fifteen year old boy with a long ponytail command your every action?

However, she was here with me, just me. I didn't say anything, I simply brought my knees up to my cheeks and sat like that in silence. She wouldn't mind, I knew it for a fact, for two years of knowing each other, she had gotten used to my silence. Out of all people, she would understand, she would understand that I built my walls, and for a while I intended to keep them there. But I knew they were slowly cracking and crumbling, blowing away like dust in the wind.

"Are you worried about the upcoming battle?" by then, she was sitting right beside me, close enough so we were touching arms. She mimicked my sitting position, however her head wasn't lowered, her chin was always up, high and proud like she always was.

"Yes." I said, even though it was one word, my voice shuddered at the sudden grim reminder that we were going into war in a year. One year to prepare, one year to train, and one year to break off all connections. Just in case.

"I'm worried too," she mumbled, and I was surprised, because her usual cheery voice was replaced with a shaky, low mutter that I couldn't help but hate. This type of Miku was foreign to me, this wasn't the Miku I was used to.

"Why?" I tried to keep this conversation going, because this may be one of our lasts.

"I don't know, I like our troop, I like our friends, our family. It's scary to think that in just a single year, some of them will be taken from us. Because of this stupid war, because of an idiotic argument between foolish, greedy kings. It hurts, to act so strong and happy when you never know when you're going to breathe your last." tears welled up in her eyes, and I couldn't blame her, she was just as scared as I was, and I knew her walls had finally broken down. This was the real Hatsune Miku, maybe the one I knew was just a mask, something to keep us going.

I had gently taken her head with my arm and pushed it so we bumped eachothers cheeks, it was comfort that we both needed, and right now she was the only one I could trust, and I hope I was the only one she could trust too.

"I don't want to die alone, Len. It's s-scares me.." she squeaked out, wiping the tears that rolled off her cheeks, her cheeks grew red as her sobs grew louder.

My eyes never left the starry sky, I started to smooth out the tangles in her hair before she spoke again, "What if one of us dies? What if we never get to see each other again?"

That thought was truly terrifying, to be honest, I could not remember the world before I started working with Miku, what if I never see her again? Something deep inside tugged at my heart, then I felt this horrid feeling grow in the pit of my stomach.

"We'll find each other again," I muttered quietly, "That is, if we one of us does.."

This was my promise to her.

She nodded and tucked her face into my arm, "Thank you, Len."

I could feel the walls around my heart crumble even more. This was it, a small bit happiness I had missed out on for years. Right here in my arms, I could feel the worries grow a little lighter. I was filled with utter bliss, and despite the war, I could not help but feel just a little flutter in my heart when she had said my name.

.

.

.

 _However, doubt welled up inside them._

 _Could happiness really come so easily?_

...

 _Of course not._

...

"I will find you."

 _The boy whispered in his heart, in her_

 _ear._

 _As if she could still hear him._

.

.

.

I was very, very still; I had to be, because I knew that once I moved a muscle, something would break, my sanity would be lost forever. I would probably go on a killing rampage, even targeting my teammates.

The pain was so fresh, the utter pain that was brought up from the gut-wrenching image in front of me. I simply stared, took in everything I saw.

It was her, she was just sitting there, a peaceful look on her face, but dead eyes staring at me. Her eyes lost their color, their beautiful, vibrant green color that would always flash joy whenever she laughed with us at the campfire. Her lips that used to be a faded rosy color, were now blue and cold, parted just a bit with a trail of dried blood seeping out of her red teeth.

Her long, teal hair was stained and hardened in clumps from the blood seeping from her head, and fallen enemies. Someone's sword struck her, right in the forehead, a few arrows jabbed into her heart. Hands that once were so warm and held mine, were now limply at her sides, her left hanging onto her own sword lazily. She could've been just another fallen soldier to anyone else, but she wasn't, because she was Miku Hatsune. The one woman who had stolen my heart forever, the one woman who brought down my iron walls, and the one person who had sucked the life out of me once her own had been destroyed.

She had been taken from me, by this war, she was brutally murdered. Someone so bright, innocent, and beautiful was murdered because all she wanted was peace.

A hand touched my shoulder, my head swiftly turned to see Gakupo, his face scrunched up with pain and sorrow, and he silently shook his head.

Then, there was cheers, cheers from other troops from our kingdom; we had won the battle.

Oh, but how I lost it all; my sanity, my life, my everything, it was all gone. Falling to my knees, I crawled to her, allowing myself to spare emotion for her. If anyone were there to witness it, and there was many, they would have told you that was the day I had died and became a living corpse.

I screamed, and screamed, and screamed, anyone could've told you that my voice was hoarse and brittle because of the agonizing shrieks I had yelled out when I touched her face with shaking, bloody hands. Screams turned into sobs, horrible and ugly ones, they were loud as my screaming. My whole body shook and trembled, it was a horrible feeling, when your world crumbles and you're left with absolutely nothing but painful memories.

I had gently took the arrows out from her heart, removed the sword from her head, and for a split second, I saw Miku Hatsune sitting there with a serene look on her face; as if she were just sleeping.

Then, there was the blood.

So much had seeped out of her body. My stomach churned just a bit, but I didn't care, for in this moment, I hugged her as tight as I could, and with every strength I had left, with my breaths light and shuddering, I whispered five simple words into her ear, "I will find you again."

 _She couldn't hear me anymore._

.

.

.

 _No matter where,_

 _no matter when,_

 _no matter how._

.

.

.

"I will find you again." I spoke to her burial sight that sat at the edge of the forest, my voice so cold and hurt, it trembled with every note.

I stood there, in the hazy weather with orchids in my arms, laying them down without a word on the freshly dug dirt gently. It had been a few months since that day, and I had retired from the guild and built myself a small home near her grave, I can't stand to be far from her. I took her bloody sword and spent hours wiping it clean and polishing it's hilt. Kissing the golden handle gently, I silently told her about my day, and no tears fell anymore.

They couldn't, I had cried so much that my eyes ran dry, and my emotions were completely, finally dead.

She didn't deserve to die, she deserved to be in my arms, safe and sound. She deserved to be laughing and smiling. She deserved to get married, have children, and grow old, with or without me in the picture. However, I had found out in my earlier years that fate was cruel.

"I will find you."

.

.

.

 _Over time, the boy continued searching_

 _for her,_

 _as did she._

 _Hearts aching and blazing._

 _"I will find you."_

 _However, the cold waves of fate,_

 _continued to toss them unmercifully._

.

.

.

"Cap'n!" a man from my crew had bellowed as he bursts the door open. I was sitting at my desk in the captain's quarters, studying the map that the king had given me. I was peacefully, plotting and planning on my route to the island we were supposed to be trading with, however I was rudely interrupted.

"What is it?" I muttered, annoyance growing in my voice.

The man ignored it and explained stiff as a board, "There is a mermaid rockin' the boat below, sir. She's causin' us some trouble."

Raising a brow, I huffed and brushed my long bangs out of my face, sighing as I got off my ass and went out onto the deck, the man following behind swiftly.

Everyone on board stiffened as the man did earlier, I walked over to the side of the boat and peered over. A hitched gasp caught my attention as I saw her face, my eyes widened in disbelief. It was her!

Teal hair, green eyes, rosy cheeks, and faded pink lips. However, she had a tail this time, and her expression wore a terrified look. I didn't like it, and she didn't like me, so she ran, diving into the water before I could even give a desperate plea to keep her with me.

She was gone, and I never saw her again.

.

.

.

 _Sometimes one of them was too early,_

 _..or the other too late._

.

.

.

"They say there lived a young girl here before." the woman muttered to me, I was interested in the painting of the late Hatsune family that lived in this old mansion nearly a hundred years ago.

This story had caught my interest, and I raised a brow as she continued, pointing to a certain tealette in the picture, "Her name is Hatsune Miku, and she had such a tragic past. Married off to a mean man, and he killed her after he had taken her family's wealth. Such a poor girl, murdered when she was an innocent."

This made my blood boil, and I didn't understand why until the name finally clicked. I walked away from the tour guide, rude people would say, but I didn't listen to them, for I plugged my earbuds into my ears and turned the music up high before I could let myself cry.

I was too late this time.

.

.

.

 _Too far.._

.

.

.

A boat was leaving the docks today, a voyage to the new lands, the newspapers read. I had decided to leave my home to bid them farewell, the new lands sounded terrifying. I couldn't help but feel a little anxious about the trip. Tugging my beige cap a little lower, blocking the harsh rays from my face, I had finally saw the ocean just a bit farther than where I was in town. However, I saw the boat already leaving port and I dashed to see it off. I had just made it, and I had bent over and had my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

I looked up and saw the boat already a few meters away from dock. People began to disband, but I stayed and waited, watching it go for a long time among the horizon.

As I began to turn away, my body stilled in shock, for at the corner of my eye I saw a young girl around the age I was, standing by the edge of the boat. She was dressed in a frilly dress with a teddy bear in her arms. My stomach dropped and I had this strange feeling of woe wash over me.

The boat sailed off and was soon out of my sight. I could feel a single tear roll down my cheek, and I could only recall a foreign name that I whispered only once in my lifetime:

"Miku?"

.

.

.

 _and never close enough._

.

.

.

Kaito was having a party again, I hate parties, especially his. In his parties, they consisted of stupid pranks, stupid music, stupid alien people, and no books in his bookshelf. Don't get me wrong, Kaito is my best friend, I love him like a brother, but I wish he would stop inviting me.

His apartment is tiny enough, why does he need so much people in it? I felt like I was suffocating, so I needed some fresh air.

I stepped out of his apartment door and I felt relieved. I slid against the wall outside his apartment room, and all was peaceful until people rushed past me. People from what looked like the ambulance, someone was being moved on a cot, standing up to get a better look at who the unlucky person was. My heart felt heavy when I noticed it was a young girl around my age, or at least eighteen. Her pale hand hung limply off the cot, wiggling around as the men ran with her body down the hallway. Her teal hair spread out of her left side, and her face white and peaceful.

Turning my head away, I tucked in my earbuds and let the music play, trying to ignore the sounds of heart-wrenching parents' crying. Unshed tears threatened to fall, and I couldn't explain why.

.

.

.

 _Slowly, their memories began to fade,_

 _they had good enough lives though._

 _Indeed, they had experienced love again,_

 _sometimes as much as 75% or even 85%._

 _Still.._

.

.

.

"Len!" Rin's arms hugged me from behind, looping them against my neck. She was beautiful and lovely, dressed in a simple sun-dress that complimented her eyes. It was our five month anniversary, and we were having all picnic at the park today to celebrate.

However.. why does this feel so,.. wrong? Nothing was wrong with Rin, because I loved her, I loved her a lot.. so why am I feeling so conflicted?

Because she's not her. A little voice in my head would remind me, but, who was not her? Rin? Was Rin not her? And who is her?

I didn't know, and I didn't want to know. So I ignored it, and continued to date Rin, and overtime never telling her about my dreams about a beautiful teal haired maiden with haunting large green eyes calling my name to come and find her.

.

.

.

 _Time passed on again._

.

.

.

 _Then, one beautiful April morning,_

 _in search of a cup of coffee,_

 _the boy was walking from west to east._

 _While the girl,_

 _intending to send a letter,_

 _was walking from east to west._

 _Both walking along the same narrow street._

 _It only takes a moment to know._

 _"I found you."_

 _The boy's heart sang_

 _But the glow of their memories was far too weak,_

 _and no longer had clarity of the years and years ago._

 _Without a word, they passed each other,_

 _each disappearing into the crowd,_

 ** _Forever._**

 _A sad story, don't you think?_

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _Yes, that's it._

I took a deep breath in, it was getting late now. No doubt, I would wake up very tired and have huge headaches the next morning. My body complaining about waking up so early for work. Sighing, I had come to a satisfying, regretful conclusion:

That's what I should have said to her.

Looking over towards my blue haired friend, who was anxiously waiting for my answer, I simply mumbled the truth. Why was she the 100% perfect girl for me?

.

.

.

"No idea."


End file.
